Friday, December 31, 2010

Resolutions, Smesolutions...

This time of year, most of us sit back and reflect on changes we would like to make in our lives. We then perform the age old tradition of making our "New Year's Resolution" to make a promise to ourselves that we will carry through with them. I think we should examine and decipher what we REALLY mean when we make our resolutions...

Resolution: I want to lose twenty pounds this year.
Truth: I want to discover a pill that will make me lose twenty pounds in a week this year.

Resolution: I want to exercise more and tone and strengthen my muscles.
Truth:  I will buy exercise equipment.  I will sit on the couch and watch some
exercise programs then I will sit on the couch and watch Law & Order using
my exercise equipment as a laundry utensil.
Resolution:  I want to be a nicer person.
Truth:  I will keep my middle finger in the proper place while driving.
Resolution:  I want to stop smoking.
Truth:  I will hide in the bathroom and on the back porch and smoke until
January 10th, then I will puff like the freight train I was meant to be.
Resolution:  I want to be more fiscally responsible.
Truth:  I will say no to super size at McDonalds, well until January 10th anyway.
Enjoy your New Year's resolutions for as long as they last whether it be January 10th or the more disciplined, January 11th...braggers.

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