I'm Not Good at Sharing...

My parents tried to teach me and I have tried to teach my kids the art...of sharing!  Share, share, share...don't be greedy...give up your favorite toy to little Bobby who will probably break the darn thing.  It's for your own good!!  I believe the point is to try and teach us to not be self absorbed, to give to our fellow man.   I mean, we really can't be expected to share everything?  Can we?!  If I have a brand new Jaguar...I will give you a ride, but you won't get my keys.  Go get your own!!  I do try to give to charities when I can.  I enjoy giving my time and volunteering.  But when I get a plate full of delicious food...keep your hands off or I'll stab you with my fork!  I'm not always very good at sharing. 

Sharing can be good for the soul but sometimes...its just hard.  I have shared custody of my children with their dad.  This is different from the traditional joint custody.  With shared custody, parents share time with their kids equally.  This means I get my kids 50% of the time...50%!  The thought process behind this is that kids will not be slighted the chance to have both parents in their life, or in other words, we failed at marriage but want to keep you in as traditional a home as possible.  It is impossible to understand what this is like unless you have gone thru it.  I miss half of my kids life...Half!  If someone asks me if my son eats meatloaf...I don't really know.  I mean he doesn't eat it at my house, but maybe he eats it at his dad's.  I don't know, but I should know.  If someone says, "What did your daughter wear to school today?"  I don't know.  I have no idea how she wore her hair...or what color shirt she had on...none.  I don't know, but I should know.  They have another home, their own room, a closet full of clothes, that I know nothing about.  Nothing.  Time doesn't slow down for half...they continue to grow up too fast and I want to savor every minute.  But I can't...for I must share.  I'm not very good at sharing...  

They're Playing My Song

I find it amazing how we see ourselves as opposed to how others see us.  When I look in the mirror, I don't see a middle aged woman.  I just see me.  But I can be talking to someone about their aches and pains and they start saying, "Yeah we're getting up there aren't we?"  Whose we?  What is this we stuff? 

I consider myself fairly confident, I mean I'm in my forties and I have NO cellulite.  Ok well I'm in my forties and my butt is no bigger than when I was 21.  Ok well I have no gray hair.  Ok so let's just say I have learned how to dress to hide flaws and have a great hair stylist.  Are you happy now? 

One thing age has given me is a confidence I didn't have in my younger years.  But along with that confidence comes a few unexpected surprises.  I wonder what it would be like if we had theme music to follow us and play according to our moods.  When I am walking down the street, hair blowing in the wind, looking confidently ahead...everyone could hear, "There she was just a walkin' down the street singing doo wah diddy diddy dum diddy do..."  Then when I get to my destination and I am forced to go up a flight of steps, Vincent Price comes on, "As she walks up the stairs of death.  She is starting to find that she's out of breath.  The sound of her knees as they begin to creak. Peace and comfort is what she must seek."  Now at the top of the stairs I am limping and wheezing to the office door..."Take my breath awayyyyyyyyy...take my breath awayyyyy." 

I'm thinking theme music might not be a good idea.  But wouldn't it be fun for other events?  Like you've had it with your current relationship, "To the left, to the left, everything you own in a box to the left."  Or when you get cut off in traffic, "Hit me with your best shot!  C'MON, hit me with you best shot."  Or when you finally get that big promotion/proposal/boob job..."Hallelujah!  Hallelujah!"  Theme music would be cool then, huh?