Saturday, November 13, 2010

Life's Constants...

There are certain constants in life. Undeniable things that will NEVER change...

The sun will always rise in the east and set in the west. We won’t wake up one day and say, “Hey! The sun is rising in the north! What the hell…”

We will all pay taxes. We will all die. Some of us will die paying taxes.

Men will always enjoy passing you in the hall naked and going "Woo Woo!" as they shake their privates at you.

Cat turds will always stink and dogs, for God knows what reason, will always sneak and eat them. I will never understand that…I mean…I sneak off and eat a bag of Doritos sometimes but you won’t see me sneak to the bathroom and grab snack! Yuck! Worst part is, we let them lick our face. We’re such suckers…yet another constant.

Old people will always drive slow and young people will always drive fast…and my mother will always push the imaginary brake on the passenger side floorboard. SERIOUSLY!!!! You can’t make the car stop Mom!!!! Just like throwing your right arm across us when you slammed on the brakes was NOT going to keep us from going through the windshield. Let GM add THAT to their safety features!

Boobs will always fall with age unless they are fake…in which case…I hate you. Young women are always going to be a cruel reminder of what used to be…in which case…I hate them too. Some women are a size D cup or above…I also hate you. But I’m getting sidetracked…flat chested women are bitter…that is another constant.

It's nice to know that some things never change...I like stability...

1 comment:

  1. Change is the only constant. And all that other stuff you mentioned too. Woo Woo!!