Don't Make Me Hit You Like a Girl...

I find it fascinating the things that we say without thinking.  Things that are said without a second thought, things that bring to light society's views on a gender. Words that encapsulate the overall thoughts of a culture.  These are all phrases that seem small at first, but they are the foundation of the sexism that breeds rape culture, unequal pay, domestic violence, and discrimination.  It's why when a woman is raped, she is asked what she was wearing, but the rapist is not.  It's why a woman will be more conservative with her salary requirements than a man.  In all societal problems, there is a beginning.  Every house is built on a foundation.  The foundation is not complicated, it is consistent.  The complicated parts come to play after the foundation is built.  So let's consider some of the things that come out of our mouths to form these concrete blocks...

Man up! Be a man! - As opposed to what?  A girl??  Is that so bad?  This statement contains layers because first, the statement is saying that to be better...you must be a man NOT a woman.  Secondly, if you are showing sensitivity or emotion as a man, that is somehow wrong. This statement implies that strength comes in one form...male.

Grow some balls! -  This one has always confused me.  Why would you want to grow a pair of testicles?  This is to imply that you need to toughen up, but have you been around any balls?  They aren't tough, they crumble at the slightest hint of trouble.  Wanna gain control in a fight?  Kick him in the balls.  Now tell someone to grow a vagina or a uterus...oh yeah, now we are talking.  As Betty White says, "those things take a beating!"

You hit like a girl! - Ever heard of Ronda Rousey?  Just in case you have not, she is the women's UFC champion and a beast in the ring.  So good in fact that she has been posed the question, "Would you fight a man?"  Although she believes she could compete AND win against a man, she refuses to do so because she feels it is unhealthy to promote a man hitting a woman REGARDLESS of the circumstances, in this case, a sporting event.  I would say Ronda Rousey, "hits like a girl", just sayin'. Just for fun, google female boxers and then google male boxers.  Under female you will find a top 10 list of the most beautiful female boxers.  Under male...you don't.  Another fun fact, Ronda Rousey was photographed at an event with the caption, "Ronda Rousey cleans up well."  Don't recall seeing that observation in reference to the guys.  Fascinating...

You're too pretty too... - It doesn't matter how you end that sentence, it all means the same thing.  If you are pretty the rules are different.  So good news for us plain Janes, we catch a little slack.  Whew!  Now I can go out and get a tattoo and have an opinion.  Yay me!

That's so gay... - Do you mean "That's so happy!" or "That's so homosexual!" Is it really homosexual or do you just find it odd/weird?  Are you saying that homosexuals are weird?  That's really not accurate because I find some heterosexuals are completely bonkers.  Heck even my dogs are strange. My cats are gay, no they aren't odd, they are literally gay...male lovers...but intelligent and badass.

Love.

My dogs are weird...not gay...

Weirdos.

What were you wearing? - This one carries a more serious tone because it is in reference to sexual assault.  There are more questions... Were you drinking?... Did you know him?  Let me clear this up once and for all.  It does not matter what a woman is wearing, whether she was drinking, or how well she new the perpetrator...rape is wrong.  Done. End of story.  No one asks what the rapist was wearing and if they ask the rapist if they were drinking, it is to excuse...not blame.

These are just a few examples of the word vomit that plagues our culture. Anytime we stereotype a gender, race, or culture, we are cheating them of respect and opportunity.  There are many more I haven't listed, feel free to comment with your favorite...