Another year has come and gone. Now's the time for reflection, plans, and promises. Last year I said I wanted to be nicer. Damn...that lasted about a day. Maybe some people keep their resolutions. Maybe there is a beautiful place where everyone quits smoking and cussing while they lose ten pounds. Naw...no such thing. That's just crazy talk. We all break our resolutions but they are nice things to consider. This year is going to be different though. This year I plan on making resolutions I KNOW I can keep.
Eat plenty of chocolate - This year I shall eat enough chocolate to keep me happy. In these tough economic times I promise to do what I can to support Hershey's and cocoa farmers.
Have more sex - Yeah I said it!! And I can too...I'm married you little prudes. This should be a standard resolution for everyone...well unless you're a perv or something...then you should probably slow down.
Eat red meat - I feel like we should do what we can to control the cow population. If we don't eat them we shall be over run by cows in the streets...destruction will ensue. Tragedy I tell you. Tragedy!!! More steak and hamburgers! I am doing it for humanity.
Make fun of stupid people - I mean really, this is just entertaining.
Exercise more - HA! Only kidding, wanted to make sure you were paying attention.
Now it's time to ring in the new year with my new goals. Let's hear it for Auld Lang Syne!!
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